If this is your first visit to my site, I would recommend you go back to the previous post titled, Responding to Criticism, so you will have a full grasp of this follow-up.
OK–so after responding (via email) to Wendy’s criticism of my latest book, Don’t Ask and I Won’t Have to Lie, I received another email from her which read:
Thank you for replying to my email and being so kind in your response. I want to apologize for my “constructive criticism”…my friend and I were browsing blogs and having some fun, while drinking on a couple of glasses of wine, when we came upon your link. The grammatical errors that I believed were incorrect were actually due to my faulty reading at the time. The line in particular was, “Some go to great lengths to conceal what they believe are physical flaws because, as an over zealous media always reminds us, image is everything.” I was skimming the excerpt when I saw the comma in front of because – not bothering to actually see it in its complete sentence. At the time I felt like I was doing you a service, and strongly felt the need to email you. Like I mentioned, I am in no way a writer, but it seems I am also bad at comprehending a sentence while intoxicated. I am sincerely sorry for wasting your time, and am glad you were at least able to get an idea for a blog post. I would love to read it even if it speaks negatively about random people in the world trying to give their two cents when none should be given, I wouldn’t blame you. lol.
Congratulations on your success, it was nice having an exchange with a real author. Next time I will keep my inaccurate/observations away from anybody’s inbox. I’m truly embarrassed, and can’t say sorry enough.
I wish you and yours a happy holiday and a safe new year.
HERE IS MY ADDITIONAL RESPONSE TO WENDY:
You did not waste my time at all. The fact that you googled me and took the time to read my work is something I sincerely appreciate. Also, the offer still stands–if you’d like me to send you a copy of the book, please send your address.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
***This could’ve turned into an ugly situation with me losing a potential reader (and who knows how many friends she has) had I chosen to respond in a different way or to ignore her comments altogether.
One thing I’ve learned as an author and in life is not everyone is going to agree with what you say that’s why it’s important to:
1) Respect what others have to say. She could’ve blasted me publicly–which would’ve been more insulting but she didn’t. She did it privately and I respect that as well as her comments.
2) Take a moment to respond to clear up any misunderstandings.
3) MOVE ON.
Hey Bev, I never read your first post but I reckon by reading this one I get the idea. You handled it extremely well and not only did you possibly gain a convert, she may spread the word about what a great person you are.
I’ve seen some people who go off their face if someone critiques their product in a negative way. I’m sure I wrote a post or two about the subject. I’ve even seen them take the argument to the persons blog.
I don’t understand how they fail to see that it makes them look unprofessional and could actually hurt their credibility. They would be much better off discussing the matter calmly and trying to resolve the issue.
I too, have read posts where people were getting into a war of words with someone else over WHATEVER! I actually had someone write a nasty blog post about me recently because I posted on my facebook page that I was going to be cleaning house because I wanted friends who were engaging.
Instead of getting into a public debate over MY FB page, I chose to write her privately–which she NEVER acknowledged.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
You know I fully understand how in real life people can say the wrong things in the heat of the moment, but this should never happen online when one has the time to think things through. If they can’t do that then they really have issues.
This reminds me of my episode earlier this year when a guy wrote me out of the blue trashing one of my sites, then later I learned it was a test to see what kind of guy I was so he could do something nice for me.
You never know how things are going to go, but I will say that there are times when we have to be ready to stand up for ourselves once we’ve given the other party an opportunity to communicate better with us. You did well Miss Bev.
I handled in the best way I saw fit at the time. Had she caught me on a BAD day it might’ve been a different story. Because I did not see what she saw I knew she had to be mistaken and I just wanted to read her explanation.
I should’ve told her she might need to lay off the alcohol when reading blog posts 🙂