“Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.” ~Author Unknown
Every week I am going to pose a question to solicit your HONEST response. Please take as much writing space as needed in order to justify your answer. Also feel free to engage with others who will offer their own responses but I do ask that you be respectful of the other responses—-even when you disagree.
OK?
Question of the Week:
It’s your birthday. Your good friend knits you a scarf as a gift. When you see it, you wonder who taught her how to knit because it doesn’t quite resemble a scarf and the color she’s chosen in not one of your favorites. How do you handle the situation?
Accept the gift gracefully thanking the friend for their thought and love.
I do what I always do, am very excited about the gift. Tell them how much I appreciate them taking the time to do something special just for me and I will wear it when i know that I will be seeing them. I rarely get gifts so I am always elated when I do! 🙂
I would give accolades for the effort and state it was a work of art and would treat it as such. I would frame it and find a wall to hang it on. I would never hurt the persons feelings because the effort would have made my day. Anything made by hand is a work of art and should be respected as such. I would eliminate the need to wear it while appreciating my friend for making the effort.
So are you saying it’s better to lie to your friend than to hurt their feelings?
Accept the gift graciously and thank her.
Thanking someone graciously for a personally made, sincere gift is not dishonest in the slightest. I am confused as to where the problem is here. Expressing my heartfelt appreciation for a gift is honest. How is it more honest to critique gifts than to express genuine gratitude? It isn’t. My perspective.
I think that homemade gifts are much more special than anything store bought! She took the time to make me something even if it did not come out. And as we all know time is one of the precious commodities that we have. I would thank her and find a way to use her gift creatively.
Bev…I would happily accept the gift, and appreciate the fact that it came from the heart.
I accept the scarf greatfully.
I would love it, and wear it! Being a bit of a hand-crafter myself I can appreciate something hand made…flaws and all! As I get older, I like one-of-a-kind items so much better than matchy-matchy store bought gifts. I can now appreciate the originality of something and in today’s uber-busy world, if someone takes the time to create something special, it’s a sign of true love!,
You set up the scenario with ” A good friend . . .” If that’s really true, I’d express my sincere appreciation for the gift and the giver. Someone who actually took the time to MAKE something for me would make me very happy and grateful.
If she is one of my good friends she already knows I give it straight with no chaser so I am going to tell her exactly what I feel. I will be tactful but tell her the truth. The conversation would go something like this:
Who did you make that for? What do I look like an experiment. And girl as long as you’ve known me you know I would never wear that color. HOWEVER, since you made this scarf specifically forme and its out of LOVE…I say thank you.
Would I wear the scarf…yes. Why? Because my friend thought enough of me to do so but I WOULD JOKE ABOUT IT.
I’d thank and hug my friend for the gift and for making the gift. Would ask my friend what it would cost to have another scarf made in my favorite color and offer to pay for it. Would then adorn both scarves with faux pearls and jewels and turn them into the new knit necklaces that are the “rage” for this fall!!!
If someone took the time to think, and make me a gift, I would accept the gift and act like it meant the world to me. Because it does! I love the idea of framing the scarf and hanging it on the wall as a memorial to the friend. Hurting someone’s feelings over a heart felt, handmade gift is not going to happen with me.
When you say “good friend” I think of two close friends and both of them I have very honest relationships with and have since day one. Anytime they want an honest opinion without any sugar coating they always came to me. So with these two I’d certainly be very grateful and appreciative but my first response would be, “What the heck is this?!” and laugh about the look/color and most likely would make a joke and at the same time I’d thank them, give them a big hug, wrap that scarf around my neck and wear it graciously because there is no greater gift than someone making you something by hand.
I have a cousin that I’m very close to that is a little more sensitive and doesn’t handle my brutal truth quite so well. However, I would not lie to her and say I absolutely love it if I don’t but I would be less apt to joke about it or ask what the heck is it. My response would probably be something more like oh wow, thank you so much. I’d still wear it with pride but I wouldn’t lie and say I love it.
Smile, and accept the gift because after all it was the kind gesture that is most important.
This is an easy one. I had this happen once, except it was crochet instead of knit. I told her that I really appreciate the thought, that she cared enough to make me something with her own hands, but that it wasn’t really my style. I ended up teaching her how to crochet and we made several hat-scarf sets together.
I think that it’s easier to be honest in a situation like this when there’s a close relationship; you can share your real feelings without as much risk of hurting feelings or damaging the friendship.